Have you ever used the phrase “I need to …” as a way to remind and urge yourself of something you really ought to do?
I need to start exercising more.
I need to do a better job asking people for help.
I need to become a better leader / boss / friend / partner.
I really need to leave my job and start my own gig.
When we use that phrase “I need to …”, all we’re really doing is acknowledging something we don’t like about our current situation.
But then we let it stop there.
That phrase “I need to” has zero action energy behind it.
In fact, it often lets us off the hook. We think that by acknowledging what we need to change about ourselves that somehow we’ve take a step toward making it happen.
But we haven’t.
Instead, we’re much more likely to feel bad about the whole situation because we know what we should be doing, but we’re still not doing it.
Most of us tend to have very bad say-do ratios.
Meaning, we often don’t do what we say we should do.
The unfortunate truth is that it’s easier to not do that certain thing we know we ought to do. It is less fearful. Even if our current situation isn’t great – which is what led to the “I need to …” in the first place – we find it easier and less fearful to not make a change. And so we remain stuck.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
We can dramatically improve our say-do ratio by first recognizing that the phrase “I need to …” is likely just a cover-up. And when we honestly look at the fear we’re covering up, it is at that moment that we open the door to a new pathway – one that leads to doing what we really ought to be doing.
And experiencing the peace that we truly want to experience.
Join me in Monday’s class where we’ll explore our poor say-do ratios and how we can turn that around. I look forward to seeing you then.