Look about you. How certain are you that this is real?

What makes you so sure? That you can touch things and experience emotions?

We do the same in dreams.

The great Taoist Zhuangzi tells the story of Zhuang Zhou who dreamed that he was a butterfly. In the dream he fluttered about from flower to flower, enjoying the nectar. The butterfly did not know that it was Zhuang Zhou. Suddenly he awoke and felt certain he was Zhuang Zhou again. Then he was struck by this thought: Was it Zhuang Zhou dreaming that he was a butterfly, or was the butterfly now dreaming that it was Zhuang Zhou?

How can we be certain? Continue reading →

There are over 25,000 books on Amazon with the phrase “how to find” in their title. Whether you are seeking a job, money, man, woman, health, happiness, god, or yourself – you can purchase at least one book promising to fill that void in your life.

The reason so many such books exist? They sell.

We are continually seeking for something in our lives. Whether it be a personal matter like rewarding relationships or something more substantial such as meaning and purpose – still are we seeking.

The irony is that the world was made to give the illusion that we could actually find what we’re looking for. And thus we keep on searching, believing and hoping that our desires will be fulfilled. Continue reading →

An incredibly shy, awkward, introverted young teenager walked the halls of high school with his head hung low, anxiously avoiding eye contact for fear of judgment and condemnation.

He rushed between classes, spending as little time as possible in the hallways and at his locker. And he often ate his lunch safely hidden in the back corner of the cafeteria.

I knew this teen very well. He was me.

The story I told myself was that I wasn’t cool enough to hang with the popular kids nor conversant enough to engage in interesting discussions. So I kept mostly to myself – immersed in schoolwork with very few friends.

I dreaded the first day of college, projecting my high school experiences onto a new population of nearly 20,000 students. The day I moved into my dorm, I said very little to my roommate, whom I had just met. This seemed to be fine with him as he was even more quiet, anxious, and reserved than me.

But that evening a spectacularly strange occurrence changed the rest of my life. Continue reading →

I recently encountered a successful person who, when asked to describe one of her accomplishments, broke down in tears lamenting that she couldn’t come up with anything.

She’s not alone.

Why is it that we so often discount our successes yet magnify our failures?

Primarily due to the distressingly dark picture we hold of ourselves:

You think you are the home of evil, darkness, and sin. You think if anyone could see the truth about you he would be repelled, recoiling from you as if from a poisonous snake. (W-pI.93.1)

While we might acknowledge some speck of positive quality, our attention is captivated by an extensive list of shortcomings.

I’m not [good, pretty, smart, young, old, rich, healthy, funny, tall, successful, …] enough.

Consider the typical reaction to a compliment. Rather than a simple “thank you”, a more common response is deflection or a deflating comment such as “it was nothing”. Continue reading →

I was terrified, and I knew today would be the day. I had heard about this ritual for weeks, secretly hoping it was just a joke and wouldn’t really happen.

But it wasn’t a joke, and it did happen.

I was 13 years old, and had just started high-school. Rumors had been swirling that on a certain day, freshmen could be ordered by the upperclassmen to crawl on their hands-and-knees in the cafeteria during lunch – an inglorious ritual known as Freshman Crawl Day.

The moment had arrived.

Lunch was the 5th period of the schedule for me, and as it drew closer, my stomach was in knots. Would today be the day of my shame and humiliation?

During each of the first four classes, I could hardly concentrate. I felt nauseous, my palms were sweaty, and my knees were shaking. Fourth period ended, and I anxiously walked to the cafeteria. I mechanically stood in line to get lunch, even though I had zero appetite. My tray was loaded with the usual assortment of high-school gruel and a half-pint of milk. And off to the lunch tables I strode in panic. Continue reading →