In the corporate world, teams are taught to build SWOT analyses for their solutions – listing out the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. The theory is that once you understand where you stand relative to your competition, you can plan accordingly.

Likewise, in relationships and personal development, people assess their own strengths and weaknesses, from which a perspective of self-worth is subsequently developed.

Yet how often is that viewpoint focused on our limitations?

If only I had _____, then I’d be able to achieve my goals.

If it weren’t for this _____ that holds me back, I would be much happier.

Or the limitations of others?

If he/she would just _____ instead of _____, then our relationship would be so much better.

Such is the nature of limitations – they stand front-and-center in our lives commanding our attention and lamentation – whether they be the weaknesses of our own body/situation or someone else’s.

Yet everyone here has severe limitations. Continue reading →

Most physicians swear to the Hippocratic Oath upon graduating from medical school. A popular misconception is that the oath contains the phrase “first do no harm”. The actual wording is “take care that [patients] suffer no hurt or damage”. Regardless, the intent is not only true, but wise counsel for all of us.

Yet how often do we cause suffering or hurt? An honest assessment reveals that tally to be much more than we’d care to admit.

Consider how often we:

• Think or utter unkind words
• Use others to meet our physical or emotional needs
• Judge individuals, countries, or religions / thought-systems to be inferior to us/ours
• Manipulate situations to extract approval or praise from others
• Gossip about someone pejoratively
• Withhold kindness from others, except when it serves our desire to allay guilt or publicly exalt ourselves
• Feel like our life is a failure or that we’re not good enough

Clearly the “do no harm” oath is far from top of mind.

But that need not be. Continue reading →

I was terrified and deeply scarred – vowing never to swim in the ocean again. Ever.

That was my first reaction after watching the movie Jaws as a young child. I couldn’t go near the ocean without hearing that alternating pattern of F and F-sharp notes: da-dum … da-dum … da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum.

And it wasn’t until several years later that I saw the ridiculously silly mechanical shark at Universal Studios that I realized the magnitude of my overreaction.

“That is what frightened me? Seriously?”

Movies are great at sucking us into a story and convincing us this is real. One of the primary techniques for creating such realism is known as chroma key compositing – otherwise known as green screen replacement.

Essentially, an actor is filmed in front of a green backdrop in a studio. And then in film editing, the green background is replaced by a more compelling scene – making it appear as if the actor was actually in the new scene. It’s a movie trick that works so well that along with computer generated imagery (CGI) completely fool viewers.

But that’s just in the movies. We could never be fooled in “real life”, correct?

Think again. Continue reading →

In any given month, over 1,310,000,000 people use Facebook. That’s 1.3 billion people. Billion!

In other words, almost a quarter of the entire human species is using Facebook. It’s a remarkable achievement to have that level of connectivity.

Or is it?

Several social-psychology research studies have explored the benefits of Facebook which include reconnecting with lost friends and sharing in one another’s joys.

Paradoxically though, one of the challenges with the social media giant is the ease with which social comparison quickly leads to envy and isolation.

Researchers have developed a theory known as FOMO – or Fear of Missing Out – which is basically a side-effect of watching friends having fun at parties or on vacation while we are sitting at our computer. Continue reading →

Someone once told me friends are like change for a dollar bill.

Consider your acquaintances who are only around when it is convenient for them. They put themselves first, and certainly can’t be counted on in tough times. Their value is fairly limited – they are pennies.

Your nickel friends are a little less selfish, still putting their own interests ahead of yours – but perhaps willing to temporarily subjugate their plans on your behalf.

Dimes even more friendly, attentive, and supportive.

Your quarter friends – they are the most valuable and fewest in number. They will stick with you through tyranny and tribulation – their support rarely waning.

By this logic, we’d be better off having four quarters over one-hundred pennies.

Here’s the problem with that metaphor – we are the Mint. We are the ones stamping out the coins. Continue reading →