Last week I failed. And the week before that I failed.

At the beginning of each week, like many other people, I often spend time thinking about what I’d like to accomplish over the coming seven days. What commitments have I made to my various projects and other people, and what progress do I hope to make this week

From here, I set my goals and the tasks needed to achieve those worthy objectives.

Yet each week I rarely complete all the tasks nor fully achieve the goals I set.

I fail. And most weeks, I fail miserably.

But I fail only if I define success as the achievement of those goals. What if success were instead defined by how much joy I take in the moment-by-moment experience of life?

Continue reading →

Unhappiness is so justified. We don’t have to look very far to find the source of it in our life. It might be caused by a miserable relationship, dysfunction in the workplace, ungrateful children, financial debt, poor bodily health, lack of intimacy, or so many other origins.

We feel it in our core. Unhappiness permeates our cells, greets us upon waking, follows us throughout the day, and attends to all our suffering. Even in the brief moments of respite, we know our “special friend” will soon return.

Unhappiness not only demonstrates that I can suffer, but also that it’s not my fault. Someone or something did this to me.

But it isn’t true.

Unhappiness cannot exist without a story of unhappiness.

Continue reading →

There’s a ride at Hershey Park called Sidewinder. It’s a steel roller coaster that starts with riders being pulled backwards up a very steep incline and then released. You speed through a corkscrew loop, then an upside-down loop, and finally slow down to a stop as the coaster climbs up a steep incline. And then the entire process is repeated backwards.

My love of roller coasters ended the day I rode Sidewinder.

It was a beautiful summer day at Hershey Park. The sun was shining, perfect temperatures, and surprisingly small crowds – making lines at the most popular rides relatively short. I had never ridden this coaster before and was quite excited to experience the thrill.

As my coaster was being ratcheted backwards up the first incline, my heart started racing in anticipation of the first big gravity drop. I couldn’t wait. The brake was released, the car rapidly accelerating, riders screaming, and we were on our way. But something terrible happened in my head.

As we exited the first corkscrew loop, I got very dizzy and lightheaded. Then, when we completed the upside-down loop, I thought I might pass out, vomit, or both. But there was an even more horrifying feeling. As the coaster was slowly coming to a stop, I was overcome with this panic-inducing thought: I have to do this whole thing again, backwards.

Continue reading →

What do every customer service rep for AT&T, Verizon, Wells Fargo, and American Express have in common?

They all ask the same question any time I call: what’s your date of birth and the last four digits of your social security number?

If I answer correctly, I am granted access into the vault of my customer profile.

Of course this is true for every service provider. They maintain a distinct set of identifiers that label each of us as uniquely “us”.

We are our DOB and SSN.

Or our driver’s license number, physical characteristics, job title, and so forth.

Or, as genomic science evolves, we will be our DNA sequence.

Regardless, as long as we believe in the ego thought system, we will always identify ourselves with externals.

Continue reading →

I don’t recall the the first time I heard the concept that we choose to be upset, but suffice it to say I found the thought ridiculous.

Of course I don’t choose to be upset. I’m upset because of something that happened. A person did something very unkind, and I was perfectly justified in my reaction.

Not only was I right, but many of my friends agreed with me. The other person was obnoxiously mean, and I was the innocent victim.

Only, I wasn’t.

Sure, the facts show that so-and-so did such-and-such a thing. It happened.

Continue reading →