When I was in high school, I wasn’t part of the “cool” crowd.

There were four groups of people in my school. At the top of the social (popularity) pyramid were the cool kids. Star athletes, cheerleaders, and the beautiful people.

Then there were the “freaks”. To this day I don’t know why they were called freaks – that’s just what they were called at my school. These were the kids who smoked cigarettes and seemed to not care much about the world. (Yes, kids were actually allowed to smoke in my high school in those days).

The “nerds” were anyone interested in scholastics.

And then the masses of “everyone else” filled out the 2000+ student body at my four-year school.

As a nerd, I become public enemy number one amongst the cool crowd by asking one of their popular girls to my junior prom. When she agreed to be my date, I was told to watch my back.

And sure enough, one of the cool boys – unfortunately a large one – cornered me at my locker and assaulted me. It wasn’t anything major – just a body slam against my locker and a relatively weak punch to my chest. He told me not to mix with “his kind”.

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Pick any emotion you don’t like.

Maybe it’s sadness or depression or loneliness or regret. Or maybe fear, anxiety, or guilt.

Now think about the last time you experienced any one of those emotions.

Anytime we become [insert that emotion], then we’ve been “taken over” by that emotion. Our identity is now tied up in the emotion.

I am sad.

I and sad are now one. We could write this mathematically as “I = sad”.

Anytime we feel any sort of negative emotion, we are equating our sense of me with those feelings.

At that moment, our entire sense of identity is intertwined with the negative emotion.

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What are the things you are most identified with? Perhaps your work, family relationships, social status, or possessions?

How about your physical appearance – do you dress or groom yourself a certain way in order to appeal to others?

Do you have special talents that you are proud of?

How about a political or nationalistic belief system?

If a stranger came up to you at a cocktail party and asked, “Tell me about yourself,” how would you respond?

Most likely your answer points to the things you identify as you.

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As a child I was a very picky eater. I couldn’t stomach most foods and tended toward a very bland diet.

Wise adults would counsel, “You are what you eat.”

I didn’t really know what that meant, but I suspected I must be a pretty bland person then. However, since I wasn’t sprouting french fries, clearly I wasn’t what I ate.

Some philosophers have come closer to the truth with aphorisms such as, “You are what you say” or “You are what you do.” In other words, how we behave is a direct indicator of who we truly are.

Sometimes, perhaps, but definitely not with any consistency.

A far more accurate and telling observation is this: You are what you pay attention to.

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A good day is one in which things go very well and our problems are few or nonexistent.

Perhaps the weather is beautiful. Our body is feeling strong and healthy. We got a great night’s sleep. The boss is nice to us, colleagues are supportive, and we get important work completed. Friends and family are doing just fine. Things are peaceful in the world. Our investments are appreciating. Love life is on fire. Meals are delicious. And play time is incredibly fun and relaxing.

We’re feeling appreciated, respected, cared for, and safe.

It’s a good day indeed.

But is it really?

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