A young woman attends a matinee with her father. It’s a special occasion. They don’t get to spend much private time with one another, and a chance to watch a movie they’ve been dying to see is treasured by both.

The theatre is nearly empty given the time of day – so they get to pick any seats they want. Halfway up, middle of the row. Perfect.

The previews wrap up, popcorn bucket is nearly full, and the feature begins. She’s never been happier.

Forty-five minutes in, and she hates the movie. The plot is too predictable and unbelievable. Worse, the characters one-dimensional with a flimsy script. Another hour and a half of this?

And then the most surprising thing occurs.

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Bankei was a famous Zen master from Japan. His teaching retreats, which were always free, drew students from all over the country – beginners through advanced. At one such gathering, many of Bankei’s long term students attended. And on the second day, several of them discovered that some of their personal belongings were missing.

Suspecting one of the new students who had never attended a retreat before, they searched his room and discovered the missing items. The matter was reported to Bankei with the request that the student be expelled. Bankei ignored the case.

The next day, more items had been stolen by the new student. Surely Bankei would now take action, but once again he disregarded the matter. This angered the other pupils, who drew up a petition demanding the dismissal of the thief, stating that otherwise they would all leave.

Bankei read the petition, then summoned all attendees before him.

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Happiness is not something that results from external circumstances – rather it is a choice from within our mind. Yet awareness of this isn’t enough to be happy. In fact, many people who intellectually know this secret to happiness still choose otherwise.

We do it because we’ve habituated the experience of searching for joy in the world and other people. And, in the words of Chip Health, “when we act on auto-pilot, our behavior goes unexamined.” We think this relationship (or the next one) will be the one. Or if such-and-such a thing happens, then I’ll be happy.

From this perspective, we are continually seeking fulfillment out there, completely forgetting that we are searching for happiness where it will never be found.

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a way we could be reminded whenever we’ve fallen into this trap?

Turns out, there is.

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My four year high-school had about 2000 students. And it was made very clear to each one of us that if we wanted to get into a really good college, two things were required. First, we needed to graduate near the top of the class. And even more critical, we needed very high SAT scores.

Back then you could only take the SAT two times, and your scores were averaged. So, I felt a ton of pressure riding on that test. According to the “all knowing” guidance counselors, my entire future was riding on crushing the SAT.

I remember sitting in the test room, sweat dripping from my palms onto a cache of freshly sharpened #2 pencils. The proctor shouted out BEGIN and I thought I was going to vomit.

If I nailed the test, I would be one step closer to my dream school. Otherwise, I would be a failure.

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I was in jail, and I was terrified. I thought my life was over and that I’d have no future. It was a cruel hoax – a false imprisonment – only I didn’t know it at the time. The stark white cell was cold and sterile, containing just a wooden bench and security cameras. Although it lasted just a few hours, it seemed like an eternity. I felt trapped and couldn’t escape.

And so it is with many situations in life. We’re stuck – with no seeming way out. A cruel world shattering our hopes and dreams

But is that really true? Might there be another way of looking at the situation – and looking at the world – in which our freedom is not only possible but ensured?

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